Shot/Reverse Shot Episode 6: Education

This week sees myself and Ed discussing the finer points of Education on and in film. We speculate as to why Wonder Boys is the key film in the Marvel Universe, hit back at some listener criticism of Brick and I personally educate Ed in the ways of Soul Man. As usual, we meander off on tangents such as wondering why High School films seem to be better than College films, the merits of going to film school and then finish with a run down of the top 10 educators on film.


Enjoy!

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You Tweet It, I'll Watch It #1

I've had a bit of a break from films in the last week. A combination of work and video games had generally slowed things down on the viewing front. So I put out a tweet, stating the following:

Via Twitter and Facebook, my Monkeysphere sprung into action, spewing forth a Technicolor yawn of cinematic suggestions. I took them on their word and made good on my promise. This is how it went down.


Sunday 15th April


11.20AM Robocop - suggested by @deanleivers


A classic to begin the day, one I'd not seen in several years. As I've stated before, Robocop holds a special place in my heart as it was the first VHS tape I ever owned, bought for me one Christmas by my Gran. I was 10. Sure, that's inappropriate, but it didn't do me any harm in the long run. Watching it again, I wondered the following:

• Why is there a Desert Eagle handgun just lying around in the OCP boardroom?
• Who thought ED209 was in any way practical for dealing with crimes taking place indoors?
• Who does Robocop's paperwork?
• Has anyone seen Ray Wise and Gary Numan in the same room?

ED209 - tough on crime, shit on stairs

Anyhoo, Robocop was a fun way to get things going.

Accompanying snack: Earl Grey Tea, potato waffles, baked beans, Henderson's Relish

1.06PM The Long Kiss Goodnight - suggested by @LambThe

I miss Geena Davis. She was probably the second woman I can remember having a crush on (after Belinda Carlisle, naturally) and you just don't see her enough these days. Having The Long Kiss Goodnight suggested gave me a chance to reconnect with an old flame. Shame then, that The Long Kiss Goodnight is 'a bit shit'.

Stop, or my Mom will shoot.

The biggest problem with The Long Kiss Goodnight is it is really two films awkwardly jammed together; a wisecracking buddy film and a spy action/thriller. Samuel L Jackson (here playing Samuel L Jackson - for a change) tries gamely to inject some life into the dialogue but the chemistry just ain't coming because the script isn't strong enough. Competing against this is an action plot that comes across po-faced by comparison, involving bland, uninteresting villains who have the most ludicrous motive for committing a terrorist atrocity you're ever likely to hear. It's neither one thing or the other. Writer Shane Black went on to nail the balance much better later on with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. In short, I liked this film when I was 16, but hey, I liked Menswe@r when I was 16.

Accompanying snack: Earl Grey Tea

3.16PM Caligula (The Director's Cut) - suggested by @robmyles

OK, so I was pretty much unaware of Caligula's backstory. I knew it was supposed to be a bit smutty, but in my naivety I thought it was in a Carry On Cleo type way. The following, are amongst the things I witnessed during the film's 156 minute run time:

Yeah, so I what I didn't fully realise, is that Caligula is a softcore epic (the theatrical cut) with a hardcore grumble flick clumsily inserted into it (the director's cut). And sweet Jesus it was shameless grot too. The lesbian 69 bit especially. In a way, you have to admire the sheer audacity of the film makers (Italian bum fetishist Tinto Brass and Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione) for shoehorning so much depravity into a film that stars Sir John Guilgud and Peter O'Toole. Caligula is a frankly demented film, spunked onto the screen by brain damaged perverts. Just a shame it's too goddamned lurid to crack one off to. Still, better than Gladiator.

Accompanying snack: Earl Grey Tea, Chicken & Sweetcorn Soup, Cadbury's Creme Egg

5.59PM Clueless - suggested by @IndiaHobson

I needed a shower after Caligula. After I'd scrubbed off the shame, I looked forward to something altogether more wholesome with Amy Heckerling's pitch-perfect Clueless.

We've all seen it, so I won't waste your time going on about how good it is. One thing of interest was that after I'd watched it via the medium of NetFlix, I was presented with the following recommendations:

Belleville Rendezvous? Er, OK. Not much like Clueless but I guess it's at least comedic.... Annie Hall? OK, I can see that; smart, funny comedy about relationships.... Taxi Driver? ARE YOU MENTAL? Maybe NetFlix thinks that the Skunk Pussies are a clique in a Beverley Hills High School or something. AS IF!

Accompanying snack: Earl Grey Tea

7.56PM But I'm A Cheerleader - suggested by @gauntletgirl

I have to admit I didn't know a great deal about this one. In actual fact I thought I did, but realise now I was thinking of Slap Her, She's French. No idea why, it's my problem. Confusion aside, I'm pleased to report that But I'm A Cheerleader was a delightful surprise.

BIAC concerns a Cheerleader (duh) who is sent away by her parents to 'gay rehab' to be 'scared straight' because they think *she might be a lesbian*. It's clever, funny and most of all warm, with a great cast including Natasha Lyonne, Cathy Moriarty, RuPaul, Clea Duvall, Melanie Lynskey, Michelle Williams and Bud Cort. It very much has the tone and feel of Desperate Housewives, but manages to hit it's satirical targets a little more effectively than that show ever did, and years before it was a glint in Marc Cherry's eye. It is a bit on the obvious side and it does run out of steam a touch towards the end but it is so likeable it is easy to forgive any shortcomings. It certainly contains a more sensitive portrayal of lesbian sex than Caligula's frenzied, double-ended rug munch.

Accompanying snack: Pizza, Marble Cake, Earl Grey Tea

10.02PM Jungle 2 Jungle - suggested by @gizmo151183

This Disney-produced, live action family comedy starring Tim Allen was a lousy way to finish the day. The film was bad, but in such a mediocre way it was a real struggle to think of anything funny to say about it. Sure, a Venezuelan tribesman farts in Tim Allen's face. Yes, Allen shoots a cat with a poison dart. And OK, it does feature a baffling subplot involving the Russian Mafia, caviar and coffee beans, but it was still like shovelling custard from my point of view. Instead of a critique or any useful information about the film, here's a picture of Tim Allen and some fun facts about him!

• Tim Allen provided the voice for Buzz Lightyear in the popular Toy Story series!
• Tim Allen's real name is Timothy Alan Dick!
• On October 2, 1978, Allen was arrested in the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport for possession of over 650 grams (1.4 lb) of cocaine. He subsequently pleaded guilty to drug trafficking charges, and provided the names of other dealers in exchange for a sentence of three to seven years rather than a possible life imprisonment. He was paroled on June 12, 1981, after serving 2 years and 4 months

So that was that. I had fun watching and tweeting all this nonsense. I'll do it again, I promise. In the meantime, keep it on the down low...

Shot/Reverse Shot: Episode 5 - Returns

This week Ed and I talk about returns in the shape of unwarranted sequels, films about homecomings and directors in desperate need of a return to form. Amongst the subjects of our waffling are Brett Ratner's Midnight Run sequel, the masterpiece that is Five Easy Pieces and whether or not Martin Scorsese has made a great film since Goodfellas.

Along the way, there is a quad bike race in the street outside the studio, some pontification about the events between Lethal Weapon 2 and 3 and some seriously disturbed speculation about the fate of the title character in Hugo.

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Tiny Furniture: The Equation

John Carter: White Men Can Jump

I saw John Carter this evening at a gala screening that launched Sheffield Cineworld's new IMAX screen. I wanted to live blog it, but for some unknown reason, mobile phones were confiscated at the door. Now, I'm not entirely sure how one would pirate a 3D movie, projected in IMAX with a mobile telephone but hey ho. The Killjoys at Cineworld have prevented me regaling you with tales of free sushi, VIP seating areas and an open bar and have also robbed you of low quality photos I would have taken on said phone, so you'll have to just slum it with this review I'm afraid. Shame on you Disney. SHAME ON YOU.


In short, John Carter is a baffling, po-faced, incomprehensible mess of a film. It is a little too weird to be deemed terrible, but nowhere near weird enough to be any good. Now, at this point in a review I'd usually give a run down of what happens, who is who and where it goes. Unfortunately, I haven't got a fucking clue what John Carter was about, who the characters were, what they wanted or if they even got it at the end.

The titular hero, played with shirtless abandon by Taylor Kitsch, is a cavalryman in 1880s Virginia. Then he's a millionaire. Then he gets transported to Mars. But it's not called Mars. Its called something else. He finds out he has superhuman strength and can cover great distances in a single bound. He sees some alien babies being born. Then some mildly racist caricature alien adults turn up, but it's OK, they don't want to kill our JC. Then he drinks a potion which means he can understand everyone and they can drop the subtitles. Then there are two races of humans who live on Mars. Conveniently one lot wears red and the other blue so you can tell them apart. They have guns and spaceships, yet they run around in armour waving swords. McNulty from The Wire is a baddy, but we're not sure what he wants or why. There's a Xena Warrior Princess type heroine who is somewhat improbably sort of a scientist or something but her new invention is broken so she has to marry McNulty for some reason. Not being down with that, she flees in a metal bikini. Like you do. JC witnesses an arial battle between the human factions and for reasons unbeknownst to me, decides to wade in and save the princess because 'she's a human', yet murders several dozen other humans during the rescue attempt. Then they go on a long, boring trip on giant 6-legged pig lizards, accompanied by one of the aliens and a supersonic toad dog. They go into something resembling the Millennium Falcon and fire up a cosmic star chart for some reason and decide they need to go somewhere else. Then they get into a fight with more aliens and JC brutally hacks up several hundred of them single handed. More stuff happens. There's an arena fight with giant blind apes. There's a wedding. There's a double cross. There's these weird monks who hover around and manipulate the situation to suit their own ends, yet what those ends are and why is total mystery. There is more, but I honestly can't remember what it was.

Yes, you're being asked to take THIS seriously...

John Carter's main failing is that the film is a giant tangled mess of characters who we ultimately don't give a shit about. The human factions have to wear different colours because there is literally nothing else to set them apart. Dominic West's villain is so wafer thin they may as well have drawn a face on a shower curtain and dangled it in front of the screen. Mark Strong and his band of monk people who control destiny seem important to the story but we never know why or care. Kitsch doesn't have a lot to work with and seems content to leap about dressed like Marc Singer in Beastmaster, scowling once in a while. Once we realise that JC can pretty much fly, take a lot of punishment and can kill anyone with a single punch, it's difficult to feel any real sense of peril, so in the end we disconnect.


The film is also improbably daft. There's so many gobbledegook names and places thrown around it is impossible to watch without sniggering to yourself. Director Andrew Stanton tries to puncture any air of pomposity with some moments of genuinely funny slapstick, but they are so infrequent, they only serve to remind us how portentous the tone is to begin with. Its also a film that doesn't know who it is for. It's too long and boring for kids, not sexy enough for teens and too silly for adults. All in all, it's a wrong-headed, uneven, boring film, that had the potential to be an exciting live action Pixar crossover, yet fails on almost every conceivable level.


And no amount of free sushi, popcorn or Peroni will disguise that fact, Mr. Disney.

Shot/Reverse Shot: Episode 4 - Television

This week, myself and the husky manslice that is A Mighty Fine Blog's Edwin Davies talk TV. We discuss this year's Oscars telecast, have a bit of a chat about Sidney Lumet's Network, discuss the sheer idiocy of the short lived Ferris Bueller TV show and the Star Wars Holiday Special and then round things up with an in depth discussion about the current golden age of television.


WARNING: This podcast contains the phrase 'un-subtitled Wookie Jargon'.

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Shot/Reverse Shot: Episode 3 - Britain

This week, I am joined by A Mighty Fine Blog's Edwin Davies as we talk about British film. We get to the root of what is wrong with the British Film Industry, discuss what it is that actually makes a film British and also uncover the shocking truth that Richard Curtis killed Jim Henson.


We even manage to shoehorn in the snack they're all talking about: Barry Norman's Pickled Onions.

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